Music Meme: XMen: the Movie
by Kariki Neroli
Summary: Just a few Drabbles/Ficlets I did for a Meme on LJ. Pairing: Logan/Remy most, Two Sabretooth/Remy, A few Gen. Two Crossovers but both are Whoinverse Pre!Doctor Jack and Donna Warnings Inside
1. Song List Warnings Summaries

Here's a series of drabbles/ficlets I did for a Music Meme on LJ.

The meme is to set your MP3 player of choice on random and write ten fics for ten songs. I did twelve, just cause.

Here's the list of songs and the warnings that come with each fic:

**1. Tequila Makes Ger Clothes Fall Off - Joe Nichols**  
Rating: PG-13  
Warning: Drunk!Remy

**2. If You Were Gay - Avenue Q**  
Rating: PG  
Warning: None really

**3. Space Dementia - Muse**  
Rating: R  
Warning: HEAVILY Implied Past Sabretooth/Remy rape

**4. Whatshername - Green Day**  
Rating: PG  
Warning: None

**5. Desire - Ryan Adams**  
Rating: Borderline R  
Warning: They about to do sex.

**6. Somebody Hates Me - Reel Big Fish**  
Rating: PG-13  
Warning: Attempted beating of a certain thief/hustler.

**7. All I Ask of You - Phantom of the Opera**

Rating: PG-13  
Warning: Remy Owies, Pissed off Logan

**8. Captain Jack's Theme - Torchwood Soundtrack**  
Rating: PG-13  
Warning: Crossover with Torchwood (PreDoctor!Jack)and silliness

**9. Lady Marmalade - Patti LeBelle**  
Rating: R  
Warning: Overused Phrase, Naked Remy

**10. Bad Horse Chorus - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog**  
Rating: PGWarning: Mildly Annoyed Logan, oblivious children, amused Remy

Now for a few Bonus Drabbles. Just cause.

**Bonus 1: Figured You Out - Nickelback**  
Rating: Heavy R  
Warning: Sabretooth/Remy Non-Graphic Rape

**Bonus 2: Donna's Theme - Doctor Who Soundtrack**  
Rating: PG  
Warning: Donna Noble. 'Nuff Said.

I don't own the characters or verses in any way, shape, or form, just playing around with them.

Warning: All French was gotten from Babelfish.

Enjoy and don't forget to review!


	2. 1 Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

**1. Tequila Makes her clothes fall off - Joe Nichols**

_She can handle any champagne brunch  
A bridal shower with Bacardi punch  
Jello shooters full of Smirnoff  
But tequila makes her clothes fall off_

She'll start by kicking out of her shoes  
Lose an earring in her drink  
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall  
Drop a contact down the sink

"Lo', Rem's fine." The Cajun draped over Logan's shoulder slurred.

"Told you ta stay away from those shots," Logan growled, more exasperated than annoyed. "Yer lucky I found ya when I did."

Remy giggled - actually giggled! - but didn't say anything more.

With skill born from experience, Logan opened the Cajun's door without jostling his burden too much and dropped the younger man onto his bed. From there, Logan surveyed the damage.

Remy's dark vest was gone as was his jacket and the silk shirt he still had on was completely unbuttoned and slipping off his shoulders. The sunglasses were missing and probably long gone, considering how much they cost. The Cajun still had one shoe on, which was surprising since the foot with the one shoe was missing it's sock. He was pretty sure Remy had been wearing a hat and gloves as well but both had went the way of all the other missing clothes.

He still has a deck of cards though. Well, the box the deck had came in.

Logan sighed and pulled the sock and shoe off and yanked the blankets over Remy who was on the verge of passing out.

"Wolvie?" Logan growled softly at the nickname. "Fixez avec moi."

"You're drunk, Gumbo. I ain't sleeping with you."

"Non, non, aucun sexe. Sommeil." Remy tried to sit up on the bed before he fell back down wiht another giggle. "Pourquoi la salle tourne-t-elle?"

"The room ain't spinnin', you're just shit-faced." Logan sat down on the bed beside the Cajun and pulled off his boots before laying down. "Now go to sleep. And I don't want to hear any complaints about your hangover tomorrow."

"Merci, Wolvie." Remy turned over to his side, facing Logan. "Je t'aime."


	3. 2 If You Were Gay

**2. If you were gay - Avenue Q**

_If you were gay_

_That'd be okay_

_I mean, cause, Hey!_

_I'd like you anyway_

_Because you see,_

_If it were me_

_I would feel free to say_

_That I was gay_

_But I'm not gay_

"I'm not gay, Gumbo." Logan, aka, Wolverine, growled as he aimed another attack at the agile young Cajun he was currently sparring with.

"If ya say so, Cherie," Remy pressed on, flinging a card at the feral man. The card missed and exploded harmlessly against the Danger Room wall. "But dere's nothing wrong wit it. I just dun see why ya refuse ta admit it." The smirk grew. "Especially after da other night."

"If that night makes me gay, what does that make you, Cajun?" Logan circled the younger man, looking for an opening.

"I'm not gay." Remy shrugged, disinterested. "I'm bisexual. Grande différence."

"Right. You just use that as an excuse to be a slut."

"Non," Remy grinned. "Remy need no excuse to a slut."


	4. 3 Space Dementia

**3. Space Dementia - Muse**

_You make me sick because I adore you so  
I love all the dirty tricks  
And twisted games you play on me_

"He's prettier than I remember, Runt." Logan's fist clenched tighter, his claws aching to extend and impale the other feral man. Sabretooth grinned as he pulled his prisoner close and slowly ran his tongue over the his throat, lapping up the thin trail from where a claw had pressed too far into the thin neck. "Ah, but he tastes just the same."

Remy, for the most part, tried to fight Sabretooth as little as possible, knowing that to fight the bigger man right now would only make things worse for him. All the same, the feel of the slimy tongue against the sensitive skin of his neck turned his stomach. If it weren't for the claws...

"Let him go, Sabretooth." Logan growled, fighting back the blinding rage that threatened to consume him. "He's got nothing to do with us."

"Oh, but there's where you're wrong, Jimmy." Logan hated that name. Mostly because he didn't know why Sabretooth called it. "He's got everything to do with us. You should know you can't keep your toys if you're not willing to share."

The clawed hand around Remy's throat tightened as the arm around his waist moved lower until the clawed hand grabbed the Cajun's crotch tightly, drawing a pained hiss.

"He ever tell you want happened last time I got my hands on him?" Sabretooth's grin grew even more predatory. "Tell me, Jimmy. Is he still has tight as he was all those years ago?"

With a roar, the metal claws extended and, fully enraged now, Logan attacked.


	5. 4 Whatshername

**4. Whatshername - Green Day**

_I remember the face but I can't recall the name  
Now I wonder how whatsername has been_

The chiming of the old grandfather clock in the hallway reminded Logan of the late (or is it early?) hour as he slipped out onto the back porch, a cigar in one hand and a beer in the other.

He had had that dream again.

Waking up on that island, the buildings around him crumbling and burning down. The kid who came up to him, with that look of surprise, concern, and disbelief. The girl laying on the ground - dead but only recently - that he felt he should know. Knew that he had known at some point.

He had found the kid again - Remy Lebeau, also known as Gambit - but the girl was still just a body to him.

He took a long drink from the beer bottle, downing half of it.

"Bit early in da morning, init, Cherie?"

Logan glanced over his shoulder to see he had been followed.

"Bad dream."

"Dat girl again." Remy knew all about the dream. Had even tried to help find out who she was and any family that would want to know what happened to her. Even with all his connections, they had turned up nothing. "We'll find out 'bout her one day." It was a promise he made often - after every dream - but he still meant it.

"Yeah." Logan wasn't sure he still wanted to know.


	6. 5 Desire

**5. Desire - Ryan Adams**

_With no secrets. No obsession.  
This time I'm speeding with no direction.  
Without a reason. What is this fire?  
Burning slowly. My one and only.  
Desire_

Hands slowly moved down the younger man's back, feeling the soft skin covering the strong muscles of Remy's back.

The kiss was an oddity for them. Their kisses were usually demanding and passionate. The passion was still there but, instead of the harsh, almost biting, kiss they usually share, the kiss was soft and gentle. Loving, not lustful.

Logan pulled the smaller man closer, pressing their bodies together before backing toward the bed. He pulled the Cajun onto his lap as he sat down on the soft mattress. The kiss continued.


	7. 6 Somebody Hates Me

**6. Somebody Hates Me - Reel Big Fish**

_I just made an enemy of someone I don't know  
And they are upset about something  
That I must have done  
It really doesn't make much sense_

_And I've got no statement in my defense_

_  
I know, no matter what, no matter who, no matter what I do_

_Somebody hates me_

"Now, I dun wanna fight wit yo, boys." Remy slowly backed away from the three drunk and pissed off men. There was a time Remy would have just kicked their asses and be done with it... but he doubted the professor would appreciate that, even if he didn't use his powers.

So he'll just wait till one of the boys attacks so he can call it self defense.

"Yer a damned cheater Lebeau," one of the men slurred, a broke wine bottle in his hand. "And we ain't goin' put up wit it anymoor."

"I ain't a no cheater," Remy bristled. "Yer just a pushover at poker."

The men, with a drunk roar of anger, charged. Remy pulled his bostaff from it's hiding place and was ready to beat the punks down when another roar sounded from behind the drunken bastards.

In less than ten seconds, all three boys were unconscious on the ground and a very pissed off Wolverine was standing over them.

"I coulda handled dem." Remy almost pouted until that enraged look was pointed at him.

"Your lucky I didn't let them beat your stupid ass, bub!" Logan grabbed Remy's arm and began pulling him out of the alley way. "Something I think you like pissin' people off, kid." He growled.

"Cherie, Remy had done nothing wrong."

"Besides taking advantage of three drunks by pretending it's the first time you even held a deck of cards much less played a decent game."

"Well, I am a thief and a hustler, Cherie." Remy grinned. "Ain't no crime... well, I guess it is."

Logan growled.


	8. 7 All I Ask Of You

**7. All I Ask of You - Phantom of the Opera**

_Let me be your shelter  
Let me be your light  
You're safe  
No one will find you  
Your fears are far behind you_

The chain holding the punching bag snapped as Logan's punches became more and more hard and frantic. As the heavy bag fell to the floor, Logan began kicking it instead. It was all he could do to stop himself from hunting down that goddamn fucking bastard and ripping his throat out.

The image of Remy strapped down to that table flashed in his mind and, with a roar, he kicked the fallen bag across the room.

He could get on his bike and track Sinister down. It might take him a few months, maybe even years, but he'll get that bastard back for what he had done to Remy.

It was the thought of Remy in the Med Lab that kept Logan in the mansion. Hank had patched the Cajun up but Remy still hadn't woken up after three days. With each day that passed, Logan's anger towards the mad scientist grew.

"Logan." The calm voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked back toward the door, ignoring the almost destroyed gym. Marie. "Hank wants you... Remy's woken up."

Logan was out the door and running down the stairs before Remy's name had even left the girl's lips.

The sight he was met with when he entered the lab was unexpected. Remy was awake, that was for sure, but the blind panic on his face told Logan everything he needed to know.

"Remy." He said slowly, approaching the younger man who held a scalpel - fully charged - in his hand. "Calm down, love."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hank had a sedative ready in his hand. Logan shook his head, warning that that wasn't the best idea at the moment. He then focused on the panicked man who had backed into a corner. Remy was sickly pale and thinner than Logan had ever seen him. The bandages that had covered his stitches were bloody now from the wounds the younger man's panic had reopened.

"Remy," Logan said again, slowly approaching. "You're safe here, Remy. Ain't no one going to hurt you. That's over now."

"Stay back," Remy's voice as rough and low. "Don't you come near me."

"Remy, it's alright." Logan continued to slowly approach the Cajun. "Sinister's gone and ain't no one going to hurt you."

Remy pressed further back in his corner.

"You know who I am, right?"

Remy stared at Logan, trying to through in his panic.

"Logan?"

"Yeah, Logan." He was close enough now to touch the younger man. He slowly reached forward, careful not to scare Remy further, and took hold of the thin wrist holding the charged knife. "Let it go, Remy."

Remy didn't try to fight but continued to stare at the older man a few more moments before the pink glow on the scalpel faded away and it fell from numb fingers.

Logan pulled Remy to him and held the trembling man as his legs gave out from under him. Logan whispered promises of Remy's safety while Hank and Marie watched silently from behind him.


	9. 8 Captain Jack's Theme

**8. Captain Jack's Theme - Torchwood Soundtrack**

_Instrumental_

"Captain Jack Harkness." The mystery guy introduced himself.

Logan could already tell he didn't like him. He smelt strange. A bit like ozone and he just oozed pheromones. Very potent pheromones.

"Remy Lebeau." Remy nodded back, looking the new guy over. Very, _very_ potent pheromones. Logan grabbed Remy's arm before he could climb out of bed.

"What are you doing here, bub?" Logan growled.

Just a few seconds ago, he was fully enjoying his afterglow when this guy appeared out of no where in a flash of light.

"Yeah, sorry. Portal accident." The guy, Jack, glanced at the watch on his wrist. "Should leave in a few seconds. Prototype testing. You know how it goes." Jack's pheromones went up a notch as he smiled at the two naked men on the bed. "Though, if I had the choice... maybe I can talk to headquarters into a return trip."

Logan ignored the come on.

"Portal accident, I'll buy it. Does the portal have something against clothes too?"

"No, I just look good naked." And with a wink, the guy disappeared.


	10. 9 Lady Marmalade

**9. Lady Marmalade - Patti LeBelle**

_He Met Marmalade Down In Old New Orleans_

_Strutting Her Stuff On The Street_

_She Said "Hello, hey Joe, You Wanna Give It A Go?"_

_Gitchi Gitchi Ya Ya Da Da_

_Gitchi Gitchi Ya Ya Here_

_Mocha-Choca-Lata Ya Ya_

_Creole Lady Marmalade_

_Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi Ce Soir?_

_Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi?_

Logan rolled his eyes as the phrase left Remy's lips.

"The girls roped you into watching that movie again, huh."

Remy grinned, laying back on the bed, in all his naked glory.

"Non, Remy just likes da song." Remy ran his hands over the soft sheets invitingly. "Well, Monsieur? Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi?" Remy's hand slipped down his torso invitingly.

Logan leered as he reached behind him to lock the door.


	11. 10 Bad Horse Chorus

**10. Bad Horse Chorus - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog**

_Bad Horse, Bad Horse  
Bad Horse, Bad Horse  
He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin  
He got the application that you just sent in  
It needs evaluation, so let the games begin  
A heinous crime, a show of force  
(a murder would be nice of course)_

Bad Horse, Bad Horse  
Bad Horse, he's bad  
The evil league of evil is watching so beware  
The grade that you receive'll be your last, we swear  
So make the bad horse gleeful, or he'll make you his mare  
You're saddled up; there's no recourse  
It's "hi-yo, silver!"  
Signed: Bad Horse.

Logan stared at the computer screen for a few minutes, unsure of what to make of what he was watching.

"What the hell is this crap?"

Remy laughed as he leaned back in the seat, knowing that was going to be Logan's reaction as soon as the kids had dragged the feral man in.

"It's Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog!" One of the kids said, as though that explained it all.

"There's three cowboys singing about a bad horse."

"Yeah, they're Bad Horse's messengers."

"But the guy's reading the letter. He doesn't need it sung to him."

"But that's their job! He's Bad Horse! He runs the Evil League of Evil and he wants singing minions..."

Remy continued to laugh.


	12. Bonus Drabble 1: Figured You Out

**Bonus 1: Figured You Out - Nickelback**

_I like your pants around your feet_

_And I like the dirt that's on your knees_

_And I like the way you still say please_

_While you're looking up at me_

_You're like my favorite damn disease_

Victor could honestly say he loved his job.

Stryker didn't give a fuck what he did to anyone as long as he accomplished his orders. He didn't even mind when the mutants he sent him out to capture were severely wounded. He DID mind when said mutants died from said wounds but Victor had done his part. Wasn't his fault they were too weak to handle him.

Stryker held a different opinion and so he offered Victor a deal. Victor would bring back mutants relatively unharmed (had even give him a very powerful stungun to accomplish this) and in return, Victor could play with any of the freaks they no longer had any use for.

The Cajun had been his favorite capture. The two days of nonstop hunting and fighting he had spent capturing the younger mutant were still fresh in his mind and the rape afterward kept him up at night, remembering every detail.

Victor agreed to the bargain.

The kid was moved to a more sturdy and 'private' cell and Victor was given the key after every mission.

The kid was thinner and paler than before and the red on black eyes were gone (an experiment gone right for once - to Victor's disappointment) but the fire still burned in the kid's eyes. The fight wasn't nearly as long as it was that first time but it was enough to get Victor hot and hard. By the time Victor was done, the kid was bloodied and on the verge of passing out. The jumpsuit was torn to shreds, bruises and cuts littered the pale skin, and the boy's knees were scraped and torn from the hard floor under him.

Victor adored telling Logan all about it during their fights. Reminding the Runt just who had give the brat those bite marks on his neck and shoulders.


	13. Bonus Drabble 2: Donna's Theme

**Bonus 2: Donna's Theme - Doctor Who Soundtrack**

_Instrumental_

"Don't you 'Bub' me!" Donna waved her finger in Logan's face. "I have a name! Donna. DON- NA. And you better damn well use it cause if you call me 'Bub' again, I'll slap you so hard your great grandkids will have a bruise!"

Utter silence filled the room as the students watched in horror as the red haired woman yelled at Logan aka The Wolverine. Her friend calmly tried to pull her back only to get shooed away.

Logan, for his part, stared at the British woman for a few moments before a grinning.

"Donna." He amended with a nod.


End file.
